You Can’t Outswim Them
Welcome to America’s Most Secure Tourist Trap -Tucked deep in the heart of the Florida Everglades, just off scenic Highway 41, you’ll find a slice of maximum-security paradise: Alligator Alcatraz. It’s the only destination where barbed wire meets barbecued gator (well… not officially), and where your freedom is as limited as the nearest airboat.
Plan Your Visit
Whether you’re a swamp-curious family of four or a bureaucrat in search of a press op, Alligator Alcatraz offers something for everyone (except detainees, no flash photography, please).
Take the Scenic Deportation Route – Follow the footsteps of the formerly undocumented on a 2,000-foot stroll from intake to runway. Souvenir ankle monitors available in the gift shop!
Explore the Natural Barriers – 30,000 alligators, venomous snakes, invasive pythons, and the occasional Florida panther—Mother Nature herself is our perimeter fence.
Dine Like a Detainee – Enjoy a sampling of our three hot meals a day (staff only). For tourists: vending machines and questionable hot dogs.
Tour the Staff Village – A fully air-conditioned, aluminum-framed oasis complete with laundry, legal support, and clergy. It’s like summer camp, but for constitutional gray zones
Don’t Miss Photo Ops
Snap a selfie with our replica Deportation Airbridge, just 200 feet from our active runway.
Pose next to the Barbed Wire Scenic Overlook, now with 400 security cameras to capture every angle.
Visit the “Escape Attempts Memorial Board” (currently blank).
Fun Fact
Our “island” isn’t really an island, it’s a scorching blacktop in a federally protected swamp! But with 158,000 square feet of reinforced aluminum, it’s Category 2-hurricane approved. No matter what side of the razor wire you’re on, you’re not going anywhere.
Endorsements
“It’s a one-stop shop.”
–Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, Swamp Concierge
“Why would you want to come through Alligator Alcatraz if you can just go home on your own?”
-DeSantis, again, marketing genius
“We’ve got our own natural Alcatraz.”
-Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier, amateur park ranger