
Meet the Security Team
Keeping Alligator Alcatraz… Alligator Alcatraz.
Maj. Gen. John Haas – Florida National Guard Commander
Swamp-born, rule-bound, and proudly un-smiling since 1972.
“Deputy Warden” Gator Joe
Unofficial. Untrained. Uncaring. Joe has successfully detained six raccoons, one intern, and a drone from Wisconsin.
“Agent Barb” – Surveillance Oversight (Ret.)
Nobody knows where she’s watching from, but she knows where you are.
Python-Driven Perimeter Patrol (PDP)
Not sanctioned. Not reliable. Always interesting.
400+ Security Cameras
Now with facial expression recognition (beta). Smile at your own risk.