Ever thought, “I wish I could earn perks just for being near a detainment facility”? Your oddly specific wish has been granted.
Introducing the SwampPoints™ Loyalty Program, the only program where your rewards increase the longer you stare into the moral abyss of federal logistics.
💰 Ways to Earn Points:
+10 for every selfie near the perimeter (bonus if drenched in swamp water)
+50 for bringing a friend who doesn’t believe this place is real
+100 for surviving the Escape Room Simulation with your sense of humor intact
🎁 Redeem Points For:
Limited-edition aluminum blankets
“I Did Time in the Sunshine State” merchandise
A polite but firm letter stating you’ve been “observed but not processed”